The Onion

‘You Know, If I Were You, I’d Go After Finland,’ Says Biden Trying To Dissuade Putin From Invading Ukraine

WASHINGTON—In an effort to dissuade the Russian leader from invading Ukraine, President Joe Biden reportedly told Vladimir Putin Wednesday, “You know, if I were you, I’d go after Finland.” “Ukraine’s cool and everything, but Finland has, like, an eighth of the people and twice the GDP—it’d be a breeze to annex,…

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