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The Onion

Idiotic New Year’s Resolutions You’ll Never Actually Keep

Posted on Author DonaldJTrump

With another challenging year finally coming to a close, it’s time to turn over a new leaf and attempt—with little success—to improve yourself. Here are several common idiotic New Year’s resolutions you’ll never actually keep. Read more from the Onion
The Onion

Archaeologists’ Discovery Of Skeleton From 2.7 Years Ago Sheds No New Light On Anything

Posted on Author DonaldJTrump

RIVERSIDE, CA—In a meaningless discovery of no consequence whatsoever, archaeologists at the University of California, Riverside, announced Friday that their recent excavation of skeletal remains belonging to a human who walked the earth 2.7 years ago shed absolutely no new light on anything. “After conducting… Read more from the Onion
The Onion

‘The Oregon Trail’ Turns 50

Posted on Author DonaldJTrump

The original The Oregon Trail computer game debuted December 3, 1971, spawning a beloved series played by generations of children. The Onion looks back at key moments in the history of The Oregon Trail. Read more from the Onion

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