Don’t know what to watch? Christ, what a sad problem. You’re pathetic. The Onion is here to uplift your miserable existence with recommendations for what to watch this long Thanksgiving weekend.
Read more from the Onion
Idiotic New Year’s Resolutions You’ll Never Actually Keep
With another challenging year finally coming to a close, it’s time to turn over a new leaf and attempt—with little success—to improve yourself. Here are several common idiotic New Year’s resolutions you’ll never actually keep. Read more from the Onion
Archaeologists’ Discovery Of Skeleton From 2.7 Years Ago Sheds No New Light On Anything
RIVERSIDE, CA—In a meaningless discovery of no consequence whatsoever, archaeologists at the University of California, Riverside, announced Friday that their recent excavation of skeletal remains belonging to a human who walked the earth 2.7 years ago shed absolutely no new light on anything. “After conducting… Read more from the Onion
‘The Oregon Trail’ Turns 50
The original The Oregon Trail computer game debuted December 3, 1971, spawning a beloved series played by generations of children. The Onion looks back at key moments in the history of The Oregon Trail. Read more from the Onion