The Onion

University Of Florida Launches Investigation Into Reports Of Pressure To Destroy Covid Research

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The University of Florida is investigating possible violations of its research integrity policy following a report claiming “external pressure” to destroy evidence and delay publication of Covid-19 data. What do you think?

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Biden To Release 5-Gallon Plastic Can Of Gas From U.S. Oil Reserves

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WASHINGTON—In an effort to stabilize rising fuel prices, President Joe Biden announced Wednesday he would order the Energy Department to release a five-gallon plastic can of gasoline from the nation’s Strategic Petroleum Reserves. “By tapping this emergency stockpile, we can ensure that if the American people run out… Read more from the Onion
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New NFL-Military Partnership Sends First 1,000 Fans To Stand For National Anthem Off To War

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TV Show Makes Up For Lack Of Diverse Characters With Guy Who Says ‘Abuelita’ A Lot

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LOS ANGELES—Apologizing for their blind spot in casting predominantly white actors in the first few seasons, the creators behind the TV show Family Of Five made up for a lack of diverse characters Thursday with a guy who says “abuelita” a lot. “In years past, we took the easy route and ignored diversity, but thanks…

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