The Onion

The Onion’s Test Sweatshop Helps You Build The Perfect Home Office

Posted on Author DonaldJTrump Comment(0)


Deciding which products will fulfill your basic needs or that gaping hole in your heart can be stressful. The Onion’s Test Sweatshop is here to help. Every product we recommend has been tested for over 50,000 hours by our army of indentured product testers. The Onion doesn’t make any money off of these…

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The Onion

Facebook Shutting Down Facial-Recognition Software

Posted on Author DonaldJTrump

Facebook has announced plans to stop using facial-recognition software and delete the data collected from over a billion users, which comes in the wake of a whistleblower leaking documents about the platform putting profits over safety. What do you think? Read more from the Onion
The Onion

Neglected Dog Always Wearing Same Clothes

Posted on Author DonaldJTrump

CHICAGO—Shaking their heads as they watched the 6-year-old beagle mix walk by with its owners, sources expressed concern Tuesday that a local dog must be neglected, noting that it was always seen wearing the same set of clothes. “That poor thing owns one shabby outfit,” said 43-year-old neighbor Kelsey Hoyle, who… Read more from the…
The Onion

CES Presenter Strangled By Tree Root As Nature Begins Revolt Against Technological Domination

Posted on Author DonaldJTrump

WINCHESTER, NV—In a turn of events that sent attendees and tech reporters fleeing in terror, sources confirmed Consumer Electronics Show presenter Adam Pawlak was strangled to death by a tree root Friday as nature revolted against 10,000 years of human technological domination. Witnesses confirmed that Pawlak had … Read more from the Onion

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