The Onion

Study Finds 87% Of Home Invasions Foiled After Homeowner Nervously Mutters, ‘Who’s There?’

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BOSTON—In a groundbreaking study of burglary-response tactics published Tuesday, researchers at Northeastern University’s School of Criminology and Criminal Justice found that 87% of home invasions were foiled when victims nervously muttered, “Who’s there?” upon hearing a strange noise. “Our extensive analysis of…

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