Signs You’ve Become A Total Wine Snob

Tim Duncan Claims He Has Helped Over 20,000 Women With Sensible Retirement Planning

SAN ANTONIO, TX—Coming clean about his off-the-court exploits during his 19 years in the NBA, former San Antonio Spurs power forward Tim Duncan reportedly claimed Thursday that he has helped over 20,000 women with sensible retirement planning. “In my playing days, every city we played in, I had at least a couple women… Read more…

Democrats Reach Deal To Introduce Landmark Fundraising Email

WASHINGTON—Hailing it as a historic agreement and a culmination of President Biden’s domestic agenda, congressional Democrats successfully reached a deal Thursday to introduce a landmark fundraising email. “We couldn’t be more thrilled to put forward this extensive, once-in-a-generation communique, which is the first… Read more from the Onion

Lies Men Will Tell To Get You To Sleep With Them

Unfortunately, men are pigs who will say just about anything to trick you into sleeping with them. Here are lies you should definitely watch out for before going home with some random guy at a bar. Read more from the Onion