The Onion

Roger Goodell Warns Deshaun Watson Accusers They Have Until Stroke Of Midnight Before Magic Of Credible Allegations Disappears Forever

NEW YORK—Noting that time was running out, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell warned Deshaun Watson’s accusers Wednesday that they only have until the stroke of midnight before the magic of credible allegations disappear forever. “Take heart, my dears, for while you have the public’s ear now, be forewarned: When the clock…

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