The Onion

Report: Catapult Industry Won’t Survive Another Year Without Medieval War Breaking Out

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CASTELNAUD-LA-CHAPELLE, FRANCE—Noting a sharp decline in demand over the past five centuries, a new economic report released Friday revealed that the catapult industry would not survive another year unless a medieval war broke out sometime in the next 12 months. “According to our research, the catapult could be…

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