The Onion

Rare ‘Penis Plant’ Blooms For First Time In 25 Years

Posted on Author DonaldJTrump Comment(0)


A two-meter tall Amorphophallus decus-silvae, or “penis plant,” which reeks of decomposing flesh and looks vaguely phallic, recently flowered at the Leiden Hortus Botanicus in the Netherlands, the first time this type of plant has bloomed in Europe in nearly 25 years. What do you think?

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The Onion

Study Finds 87% Of Home Invasions Foiled After Homeowner Nervously Mutters, ‘Who’s There?’

Posted on Author DonaldJTrump

BOSTON—In a groundbreaking study of burglary-response tactics published Tuesday, researchers at Northeastern University’s School of Criminology and Criminal Justice found that 87% of home invasions were foiled when victims nervously muttered, “Who’s there?” upon hearing a strange noise. “Our extensive analysis of… Read more from the Onion
The Onion

Counterfeit Coupon Ring Cost Retailers $31 Million

Posted on Author DonaldJTrump

A Virginia woman has been sentenced to 12 years in prison for running one of the biggest coupon counterfeiting rings in U.S. history, leading to more than $31.8 million in retail loss. What do you think? Read more from the Onion
The Onion

Patient A Little Disappointed He’s Not Getting Treated By Dentist Whose Name Is On Sign

Posted on Author DonaldJTrump

LYNCHBURG, VA—Admitting that the experience failed to meet his expectations, local patient Rhys Barbin was reportedly a little disappointed Wednesday that he wasn’t getting treated by the dentist whose name was on the sign. “I’m sure this woman—I think her name is like Dr. Watts or something—is perfectly fine, but… Read more from this story

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