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Paleontologists Discover Fossil Evidence Of Career-Oriented Dinosaur Who Froze Eggs
MEADE COUNTY, SD—In a first-of-its-kind discovery that suggests not all Cretaceous-period females prioritized the traditional goals of settling down and having children, paleontologists from Boston University announced Monday they had found fossil evidence of a career-oriented dinosaur who froze her eggs. “This… Read more from the Onion
Ancient ‘Scepters’ Actually Drinking Straws For Communal Boozing, Say Researchers
New research shows that silver and gold tubes unearthed in an ancient tomb in southern Russia in 1897, long thought to be ceremonial staffs, were, in fact, the earliest-known drinking straws, used by people 5,000 years ago to sip beer from a communal jar. What do you think? Read more from the Onion
‘It Would Be So Easy,’ Think 79% Of People Holding Ladders For Loved Ones Putting Up Christmas Lights
PITTSBURGH—Unable to resist thinking about the rare opportunity that lay before them, 79% of Americans holding ladders while a loved one put up Christmas lights reportedly took a moment Wednesday to consider just how easy it would be. “All it would take is one small push, and boom, it’s over, just like that,” thought… Read…