The Onion

Prison Acknowledges Security Lapse That Led To Ghislaine Maxwell Spending Night In Noose Room

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NEW YORK—Officials from Brooklyn’s Metropolitan Detention Center issued a statement Thursday acknowledging a security lapse that led to Ghislaine Maxwell spending the night in the prison’s noose room. “As a high-risk prisoner, Ghislaine Maxwell should never have been allowed in the noose room for more than two hours…

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The Onion

Juror In Kyle Rittenhouse Trial Dismissed For Joke About Blake Shooting

Posted on Author DonaldJTrump

A juror in the Kyle Rittenhouse trial has been dismissed after telling a courtroom deputy a joke about Jacob Blake’s shooting, with the judge calling his removal necessary for maintaining public confidence in the trial. What do you think? Read more from the Onion
The Onion

Singapore To End Free Covid-19 Treatment To Those ‘Unvaccinated By Choice’

Posted on Author DonaldJTrump

Singapore, considered to have one of the world’s best healthcare systems, has announced it will no longer cover medical bills for people who are “unvaccinated by choice” due to their disproportionate strain on resources. What do you think? Read more from the Onion
The Onion

SpaceX Under Fire After Autonomous Rocket Hits Pedestrian

Posted on Author DonaldJTrump

AUSTIN, TX—Calling it a terrible tragedy that could and should have easily been avoided, investigators slammed SpaceX Thursday after an autonomous rocket veered off course and struck a pedestrian. “At approximately 11 a.m. CST, a SpaceX Falcon9 rocket launched itself into traffic at 17,000 mph, hitting and… Read more from the Onion

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