The Onion

Nation Attempts To Fall Asleep By Doing Little Impression Of Sleeping

SAN FRANCISCO—Climbing into bed in hopes of getting a solid night’s rest for once, a tired, bleary-eyed nation announced Sunday night that it would now attempt to fall asleep by doing a little impression of sleeping. “All snuggled up and ready to sleep—here I go!” said 26-year-old Bay Area resident Daphne Halloway,…

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