The Onion

Man With No Friends Plans Makeshift Friendsgiving With Family Members Instead

CENTERVILLE, OH—Hoping to salvage the holiday with a low-key get together, friendless man Clark Adams was reportedly making plans Wednesday for a makeshift Friendsgiving with family. “It’s not my first choice, but I don’t really want to spend the holiday alone, so I’ll see if I can throw something together with my…

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