The Onion

Man With Deep Sadness Over Never Finding Someone Who Truly Knows Him Labeled ‘The Crazy Uncle’

TEMPE, AZ—Fixating on his rotating series of girlfriends and tendency to drink too much wine during holidays, local family the Bellingers told reporters Wednesday that their deeply sad relative Andrew, who longs to find just one person who truly understands him, was “the crazy uncle.” “Uncle Andy starts drinking and…

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