The Onion

Los Angeles Residents Giddy After Learning Big Hollywood Movie Being Shot In Their Town

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LOS ANGELES—Crowding around the set in hopes of a potential celebrity sighting, Los Angeles residents were reportedly giddy Tuesday after learning that a big Hollywood movie was being shot in their town. “Wow, I can’t believe they’re filming something right here,” said L.A. local Meredith Morton, asking a nearby…

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Al Roker Reminds Macy’s Parade Viewers All The Balloons They See Today Are Up For Adoption

Posted on Author DonaldJTrump

NEW YORK—Cheerfully presenting the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade alongside Hoda Kotb and Savannah Guthrie, Al Roker reminded viewers Thursday that all the balloons they see during the broadcast are currently up for adoption. “Today isn’t just about entertainment, it’s also about showing compassion for these gentle,… Read more from the Onion
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Democrats Spooked By Loss In Virginia Vow To Work Twice As Hard To Muddle Their Agenda

Posted on Author DonaldJTrump

WASHINGTON—Unsettled by the party’s dismal performance in the Virginia governor’s race, Democratic leadership vowed Wednesday to work twice as hard in the coming months to muddle their agenda. “Last night was a wake-up call that we need to refocus our efforts on alienating the American voter with vague goals and… Read more from the Onion

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