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FDA Recalls Millions Of Chili Peppers, Citing Fact That If You Chop Them And Touch Your Junk, Your Junk Will Burn
WASHINGTON—Advising consumers to check their kitchens for contamination as soon as possible, the Food and Drug Administration announced an immediate recall Wednesday of millions of U.S.-sold chili peppers after finding evidence that if you chop them and then touch your junk, your junk will burn. “Due to the serious… Read more from the Onion
Worst Things You Can Say To Your Rideshare Driver
It’s always a good idea to be nice to the person driving you, especially if they’re being abused by the gig economy at your expense. Try not to say these things the next time you’re in a car with a rideshare driver. Read more from the Onion
Hospital Adds $20,000 Scan That Informs Patient Whether They Have Feet
CHICAGO—In an effort to expand the facility’s diagnostic testing capabilities, Mount Sinai Medical Center announced Thursday it had begun offering a $20,000 scan that hospital administrators described as “a vital tool” to help physicians detect whether a patient has feet. “With the addition of our new lower-extremity… Read more from the Onion