The Onion

Grandmother Claims She Was Quite The Cum Dumpster Back In The Day

MISSOULA, MT—Recalling that as a young woman she had quite the reputation for guzzling huge loads, local grandmother Edith Mooney claimed Monday that she was quite the cum dumpster back in the day. “You know, I may not look it now, but back in my prime, I was an absolute gutter slut,” said Mooney, smiling fondly as…

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