The Onion

Friend Crashing In Guest Room Hopes He Can Return Favor When Host’s Marriage Implodes

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WESTPORT, CT—In the midst of a divorce and grateful to have had a friend’s guest room to crash in for the past couple months, local man Nate Suarez told reporters Friday that he hoped he would be able to return the favor when his host Mark Durden’s marriage imploded. “I really appreciate him helping me out while I…

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The Onion

Dr. Oz Announces Bid For Pennsylvania Senate Seat

Posted on Author DonaldJTrump

Dr. Mehmet Oz, a cardiothoracic surgeon and television personality, announced he is running for the U.S. Senate in Pennsylvania as a Republican to succeed retiring Senator Pat Toomey, joining an already crowded GOP primary for the open seat. What do you think? Read more from the Onion
The Onion

Study Finds Majority Of Cavities Formed From Repeatedly Running Tongue Over Tooth That Feels Weird

Posted on Author DonaldJTrump

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Representing a breakthrough in dental health, a study published Wednesday by Harvard University found that a majority of cavities were formed when people repeatedly ran their tongue over a tooth that felt weird. “In our research, the leading cause of tooth decay was a subject rubbing their tongue along… Read more from the Onion
The Onion

Maryland Mayor Charged With 50 Counts Of Distributing Revenge Porn

Posted on Author DonaldJTrump

Mayor of Cambridge, MD Andrew Bradshaw, was arrested and charged with 50 counts of distributing revenge porn of his ex-girlfriend on Subreddit forums, for which he faces two years in prison and a $5,000 fine if convicted. What do you think? Read more from the Onion

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