The Onion

FDA Recalls Millions Of Chili Peppers, Citing Fact That If You Chop Them And Touch Your Junk, Your Junk Will Burn

WASHINGTON—Advising consumers to check their kitchens for contamination as soon as possible, the Food and Drug Administration announced an immediate recall Wednesday of millions of U.S.-sold chili peppers after finding evidence that if you chop them and then touch your junk, your junk will burn. “Due to the serious…

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