Facebook has announced plans to stop using facial-recognition software and delete the data collected from over a billion users, which comes in the wake of a whistleblower leaking documents about the platform putting profits over safety. What do you think?
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VERNON, NJ—As he stepped cautiously toward the strange new colors on the supermarket shelf, local man Chuck Atkinson’s natural instinct to fear the unfamiliar was reportedly overcome Monday by a condiment’s promise of “great barbecue taste.” Witnesses said Atkinson first froze in place at the sight of the curious… Read more from the Onion
NORTHBROOK, IL—Frustrated by the obvious lack of cinematic skill, viewers of the film The Darkest Kiss were reportedly disappointed Wednesday that the director’s incompetence had led him to completely obscure the face of the person committing the murder. “We get to this pivotal scene, but the camera is placed behind… Read more from the Onion
BETHLEHEM, PA—Pausing between each labored word as his family gathered around him, local dying dad Phil Piermont was reportedly wondering Wednesday if you hit traffic on your way to the hospital. “Did you take 22? It’s a little congested by the exit, right?” said your father, taking a deep breath to push through… Read more…