They’re always there, in every ripple of water and maze of branches, smiling and waiting, so you may as well know it.
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Things That Soldier Has Seen Will Haunt Him For Rest Of Afternoon
BAGHDAD—Staring into the middle distance as the day’s atrocities replayed in his head, U.S. Army Pfc. Jake Citterton told reporters Friday that he had seen things he feared would haunt him for the rest of the afternoon. “The blood, the screaming, the looks on the children’s faces—I don’t know if I’m going to be able……
‘It Would Be So Easy,’ Think 79% Of People Holding Ladders For Loved Ones Putting Up Christmas Lights
PITTSBURGH—Unable to resist thinking about the rare opportunity that lay before them, 79% of Americans holding ladders while a loved one put up Christmas lights reportedly took a moment Wednesday to consider just how easy it would be. “All it would take is one small push, and boom, it’s over, just like that,” thought… Read…
The Most Contentious President–Vice President Relationships In U.S. History
Recent reporting by The Onion and several lesser media outlets finds growing tensions between President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris, continuing a historical trend of the nation’s leader often being at odds with their second-in-command. The Onion looks at the most contentious relationships between a… Read more from the Onion