The Onion

Democrats Spooked By Loss In Virginia Vow To Work Twice As Hard To Muddle Their Agenda

WASHINGTON—Unsettled by the party’s dismal performance in the Virginia governor’s race, Democratic leadership vowed Wednesday to work twice as hard in the coming months to muddle their agenda. “Last night was a wake-up call that we need to refocus our efforts on alienating the American voter with vague goals and…

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