Someone trying to drown themselves got hungry midway through.
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Neglected Dog Always Wearing Same Clothes
CHICAGO—Shaking their heads as they watched the 6-year-old beagle mix walk by with its owners, sources expressed concern Tuesday that a local dog must be neglected, noting that it was always seen wearing the same set of clothes. “That poor thing owns one shabby outfit,” said 43-year-old neighbor Kelsey Hoyle, who… Read more from the…
‘New York Times’ Buys Online Game Wordle
The New York Times announced Monday it has bought Wordle, the free once-a-day online word game that exploded in popularity in recent months, saying the game would initially remain free once it moves over to the Times’ site. What do you think? Read more from the Onion
Oxygen Masks Drop From Nation’s Ceilings After Earth Hits Rough Patch In Orbit
WASHINGTON—Following a sudden jolt and an ear-splitting boom, oxygen masks reportedly dropped from the nation’s ceilings Wednesday after the Earth hit a rough patch in orbit. “Good afternoon, folks, we are asking that all Americans affix the yellow oxygen masks that can be seen dangling before them as we experience… Read more from the Onion