Someone trying to drown themselves got hungry midway through.
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WASHINGTON—In a stirring speech at the U.S. Capitol Thursday morning, President Joe Biden vowed not to forget the lessons of the Jan. 6 riot, urging Americans to hang former Vice President Mike Pence. “We stand here today to declare that we will not back down in the face of tyranny, and we will gut the…
Just because you have to be honest with cops doesn’t mean they have to be honest with you. Here are several common, totally legal lies that police officers will often tell you. Read more from the Onion
NEW YORK—In a finding that reverses decades of conventional scientific wisdom, a sociological study from Columbia University revealed Wednesday that only 97% of eye contact is sexual in nature. “Our research suggests that a stunning 3% of all cases of a coworker, friend, or complete stranger making momentary eye… Read more from the Onion