The Onion

Counterfeit Coupon Ring Cost Retailers $31 Million

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A Virginia woman has been sentenced to 12 years in prison for running one of the biggest coupon counterfeiting rings in U.S. history, leading to more than $31.8 million in retail loss. What do you think?

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The Onion

Billionaire Buying Sandwich Unfairly Targeted With 5% Sales Tax

Posted on Author DonaldJTrump

NEW YORK CITY—Calling the expense class warfare, local billionaire Kenneth Anderson was unfairly targeted Thursday with a 5% sales tax on a sandwich he was buying. “You’re singling me out with this indefensible charge because I’m wealthy, and I will not stand for it!” said Anderson, adding that being required to pay… Read more from…
The Onion

Jameis Winston To Freeze Knee Until Future Generations Find Cure For Torn ACL

Posted on Author DonaldJTrump

NEW ORLEANS—Looking to the distant future for the hope he felt he could not find today, Saints quarterback Jameis Winston opted Thursday to cryogenically freeze his knee in the hopes future generations find a cure for a torn ACL. “I have no hope with today’s technology, but I’m hoping in 500 years we will have……
The Onion

Diver Finds 900-Year-Old Crusader Sword Off Coast Of Israel

Posted on Author DonaldJTrump

A scuba diver has found a 900-year-old sword off the coast of Israel, likely owned by a knight during the Crusades, a set of military expeditions by Western European Christians aimed at retaking the Holy Land in the Middle East. What do you think? Read more from the Onion

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