The Onion

Coronavirus In 2021: A Timeline

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Initially viewed by many as a merely multi-week problem early in 2020, the coronavirus continued to spread throughout 2021 as people everywhere struggled to adapt to a new normal. The Onion looks back at key moments in Covid’s 2021 trajectory.

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Office Workers Terrorized By Unhinged Ex-Employee Dropping In To Say Hi

Posted on Author DonaldJTrump

PHOENIX—Describing the 15-minute incident as “a nightmare come to life,” local office workers at Martin Realty were reportedly terrorized Friday by an unhinged ex-employee dropping in to say hi. “We always knew he was a bit off by the way he’d say ‘good morning’ and ask about how our weekend was, but we never thought……
The Onion

Pittsburgh Honors Ben Roethlisberger With Commemorative Statue In Women’s Bathroom

Posted on Author DonaldJTrump

PITTSBURGH—Saluting the legacy of a quarterback who brought two Super Bowls to the city and did so much to local women, Pittsburgh honored a retiring Ben Roethlisberger Thursday with a new commemorative statue in a local women’s bathroom. “We can’t think of a more fitting tribute to this Pittsburgh hero than a monument… Read more…
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Mitch McConnell Blocks Justice Stephen Breyer From Retiring

Posted on Author DonaldJTrump

WASHINGTON—In a controversial political maneuver that sparked outrage from Democrats and their allies, sources confirmed Wednesday that Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell had blocked Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer from retiring. “It is the Senate’s constitutional right to act as a check on Stephen Breyer,”… Read more from the Onion

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