A SATORICAL COMMUNITY FOR POLITICS
LYNCHBURG, VA—Admitting that the experience failed to meet his expectations, local patient Rhys Barbin was reportedly a little disappointed Wednesday that he wasn’t getting treated by the dentist whose name was on the sign. “I’m sure this woman—I think her name is like Dr. Watts or something—is perfectly fine, but… Read more from this story
PATERSON, NJ—Explaining that his gambling associate was otherwise a perfectly pleasant individual, local man Jim Hameroff, 49, told reporters Tuesday that his bookie could be a real jerk when he didn’t get his money. “I tell you, my bookie gets a real bee in his bonnet anytime I don’t pay him, or I come up…
WASHINGTON—Saying the move sparked antitrust concerns, as well as fears about the increased concentration of power in fewer corporate hands, the Federal Trade Commission questioned Tuesday the merger of Google with the U.S. government. “The proposal to merge Google, the three branches of government, and all 137… Read more from the Onion
GENEVA—Confirming that carbon emissions are on track to meet its ambitious goals, the U.N. Framework Convention on Climate Change released a report Tuesday that found humanity’s ongoing plot to kill the emperor penguin by heating the planet was going exactly as planned. “We have every reason to believe that human… Read more from the Onion
