The Onion

Al Roker Reminds Macy’s Parade Viewers All The Balloons They See Today Are Up For Adoption

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NEW YORK—Cheerfully presenting the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade alongside Hoda Kotb and Savannah Guthrie, Al Roker reminded viewers Thursday that all the balloons they see during the broadcast are currently up for adoption. “Today isn’t just about entertainment, it’s also about showing compassion for these gentle,…

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The Onion

Poll: More Americans Not Planning To Have Kids

Posted on Author DonaldJTrump

According to a new Pew Research Center survey, some 44% of adults ages 18 to 49 who don’t have children say they were “not too likely” or “not at all likely” to have kids down the road, up seven percentage points from 2018. What do you think? Read more from the Onion
The Onion

Lost Journal Entry Reveals Lewis And Clark Nearly Turned Back After Tripping Over Tree Root

Posted on Author DonaldJTrump

WASHINGTON—Shedding light on the early trials the famed explorers encountered on their sojourn across the American West, a lost journal entry acquired Thursday by the Smithsonian Institution reveals that Meriwether Lewis and William Clark nearly turned back after tripping over a tree root. “In our observations of the… Read more from the Onion
The Onion

London Cab Drivers’ Brains Being Studied For Alzheimer’s Research

Posted on Author DonaldJTrump

Alzheimer’s researchers are studying the brains of London cab drivers, who have to memorize 25,000 streets and landmarks, after MRI scans show that the parts of their brain that handle memory grew over time. What do you think? Read more from the Onion

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